Secret Affections
by HitsuHina143
Summary: Hinamori Momo has no memories of her childhood and wonders what her devotion to Hitsugaya means. The secrets of her past is slowly being revealed but does she want to find out the secrets of Soul Society? Even if it's covered in darkness? Last chap!
1. Aftermath

Chapter 1

_My name is Hinamori Momo; I am a shinigami or in other words a death god who helps protect the human world from vicious enemies that hunt down the dead souls that roam around the world of the living. I grew up in Junrinan, District 1 of Rukongai, but I have no recollection of my past life there. The only thing I do_ r_emember is that Soul Society was betrayed by my once kind-hearted captain; Aizen-taichou and ever since the war between shinigami and arrancar have ended, I've been supervised by my two new companions- Fujitake, Kai and his wife Fujitake, Tomoe. But I see them as a nii-san and onee-san. From then on, Kai nii- san and Tomoe onee- san have both taken positions as captains, with me under onee-san and Kai nii- san supervising squad 3. For the past 25 years since the war, my life has always been a dream like the dreams I still have when I am in a winter wonderland but instead the colour of red coats the ice and snow. But I still wonder…_

"Hinamori-chan, could you at least pay attention for once and stop day dreaming?!!" yelled Rima-sensei. _That's my teacher who teaches me in Karakura High School._ _Oh! That's right I forgot to mention 10 years after the war had ended I was assigned on a "very" special mission as stated by onee-san. _

"_Momo, I need you to do me a favour not as my little sister but as my vice-captain, I will need you to go to the human world and supervise there from now on. But do not worry you will also be escorted along with a few other shinigami. This will be your "very" special and permanent mission from now on."_

_I wasn't even allowed to object or ask for a reason! But what only makes it even worse is that I am not even allowed to return to Soul Society till sunset! Same goes for my other companions- Yumi-chan, Kuchiki-san, Abarai-kun, Kira-kun, and other people's names who I can't remember. But it seems that Kuchiki-san and Abarai-kun were accepted back to Soul Society because they had come down with a serious illness, ever since then I've only seen them when I return to Soul Society. _

I was snapped out of my thoughts again as I felt Yumi-chan poke my face with her pencil. I turned to see that the whole class had gone silent. "Yes?" I answered after a few minutes, but what surprised me most was that the whole entire class roared in laughter. I couldn't help but keep the blood from rushing to my face. Rima-sensei had silenced the class before answering me "Hinamori-chan! It seems that you can't pay attention as I had asked you that question 5 minutes ago! So I guess its attention for you." I wanted to protest but I knew I wouldn't have been able to come up with a reasonable answer so I sighed in defeat and nodded. My detention hadn't taken long as I expected because Rima-sensei knew that I was in fact a good student as I still kept up with the regular "day" schedule. _It was only due to the mission I was assigned from onee-san. _I said my farewell to sensei, then immediately dashed to my home which was an also recommended prop for my mission even it's completely unused half the time I am here. _Hey! No one knows about my mission besides other shinigami. _

I grabbed all my things necessary to bring back home from my mission; reports, and homework from Karakura School. Then I was on my way back to Soul Society.

Meanwhile in Soul Society

"Didn't you tell her to meet us at exactly 5:30 because isn't that usually when it's sun down over there?" asked Kai.

"Would you please calm down? Geez...You're so impatient sometimes it's only been 10 minutes since 5:30. Sometimes I wonder why I ever married you." Tomoe spat at him.

Kai hissed at her but ignored her completely while he continued tapping his foot.

"Sorry!" I yelled as I saw my older siblings standing by the Sōkyoku but they completely ignored me as they seemed to be in their own heated argument. As I caught up to them I noticed that Kai nii-san was glaring at me, I twitched. "What?!" I asked dumbfounded. "I didn't do anything wrong did-" I was cut off by nii-san when he grumbled. "You're late."

'I was only late by..." I continued to finish by was cut off by onee-san. "5 minutes" I glanced over at her to see her smiling sweetly at me. _She's always been so kind to me that's why I love her as for Kai nii-san, he's always has his pet peeves about me, but I know he only uses excuses to cover up his concern for me, so I love him too. _I turned back to nii-san "Gomenasai." I said with a bow, but instead I felt a quick rush of wind by me and he was there patting my head. Without meeting my eyes he said "It's okay, I'll let you go this time." As he ruffled my hair, I gave him a smile and a quiet "Arigatou."

I didn't know why onee-san and nii-san were in such a rush today, it wasn't usually this hectic when I arrived back home. Everywhere I looked shinigami were running wild to the eastern area of Soul Society. I didn't have time to ask a question as nii-san lifted me into his arms and then we were flying following the other groups of shinigami. The pressure of the wind hurt my face so I turned my head into nii-san's chest, and then we suddenly stopped. I lifted my face towards two large doors ahead of me, nii-san had placed me gently on my feet and then everyone who surrounded me including my older siblings bowed down in one swift movement. I looked at all of them in confusion but then I turned towards the door to see another group of shinigami entering. I had to squint to see whose faces they were but when I tried to take a step closer, I felt a cold sweaty hand snatch my wrist, and I didn't have time to tell who it was as I was frozen in my tracks.

Not to far from me now the group kept walking, I thought I had gone deaf as I couldn't even hear a single sound, I couldn't hear the sounds of the footsteps of the shinigami approaching me or even a single breath of the bowed shinigami around me as I was the only one standing now. I closed my eyes to take a deep breath to calm by nerves but the nerves that were meant to wash away never happened as the presence of shinigamis were in front of me. I opened my eyes to see each of them standing; unmoving, but I still could not see their faces as they were covered by tan coloured cloaks. Then the world froze over me again as the person at the front of the group, the leader I suppose took 2 elegant steps towards me. My heart was pounding in my chest as I couldn't even take one breath I wanted; it was like this person had completely hypnotized me. _Hypnotized. _The word echoed in my mind as one person flashed back to me from my memories. _It can't be. _I thought to myself yet I stood there like a helpless child held back by their own will. The figure in front of me shifted, I clenched my hand into a fist that was now set free of who ever had held me back before. I heard a weird noise somewhere; it was hard and raspy like someone was choking. The individual in the tan cloak extended his hand towards me _No please. Don't. Oh, please don't touch me. _I hadn't realized I was shaking as I thought of one man who could have held me in my very tracks someone I didn't want back in my life once again. I felt the touch of the man's fingers brush my clenched fist, but he continued past my fingers then his fingers where under my hand. I realized that he was now holding my wrist with my fingers outspread across his large palm, his hand was hard, rough, and cold, but his touch was delicate and soothing. I began to close my eyes as the man got down on one knee while his other hand extended to his head to grasp the tan cloak. I couldn't see what he was doing or who he was because I was afraid of what would happen if I saw _him again. _I felt his fingers trace the line of my palm; I shivered at his touch, and squeezed my eyes tighter. Then I was forced to take one step forward, in that one moment I had to open my eyes as I was being tugged towards him, but when I saw him my step fell as light as snow to the ground. _It wasn't him. _I let out all the air that I held in my chest as the man in front of me looked deep into my eyes, his gaze burning into me, and then he gazed towards my hand breaking my trance. Slowly he brought my hand towards his face then the blood began to rush to my face. _I can't speak! _I forced out the first words that came into my head.

"Hitsugaya-kun." I sighed. He stopped my hand in the moment I would have felt his lips against my skin. In one moment, I felt fear but then I corrected myself as soon as I said my first mistake. "Hitsugaya-taichou." I thought I saw the slight curve of his lips but it disappeared in an instant as I felt his cold lips against my skin. My deep red blush still hadn't disappeared as it only turned deeper when he met my eyes again, never letting go of my hand he stood in one swift movement, as his eyes melted my soul. He said "I am home."

Author's Note: I'll update as soon as I can so please be patient, I would love it if you'd review so till next time


	2. Complications

Chapter 2

_We stared at one another for several moments in the silent, dense yet peaceful atmosphere as the moon watched over Soul Society. The way she looked at me with slight confusion and worry in her eyes along with the way her reitsu flickered made me squeeze her hand. _

"Hinamori, are you alright? It seems like you've seen a ghost." She still hadn't shown signs of awareness as I was about to take a step close enough to touch her, but before I moved she opened her mouth. I waited as no sound escaped from her; she blinked a few times before she shook her head. "Huh? What. Sorry…" she didn't finish her sentence, but I had to bite my lip to seal my amusement. _You haven't changed at all._

"Hitsugaya-taichou?" she asked dumbfounded. This time I smirked.

"It's been a while Hinamori." I took that last step towards her to gently brush my fingers across her cheek. She sighed as she said "It's only been a few weeks." I chuckled as I heard my companions cough back laughs. "Hinamori it's been two months." Her cheeks flushed red. _The blood on her cheeks is lovely. _I shifted my gaze behind her to look at my companions. "You may return to your dorms, I am sorry for keeping everyone, and thank-you for gathering upon my return."

"Not at all" the others began to head out as I shifted my gaze to see Tomoe and Kai standing behind Hinamori. The said girl whipped her head towards them "Onee-san?" My eyes flickered but Tomoe only shook her head in response. "Taichou." I sent my gaze towards my vice-captain. "Hinamori, if you don't mind Matsumoto will escort you back to your room"

"What?! But you just came home!" I had broken her quiet conversation with her superiors, but as much as I disliked the fact of leaving her, I had to.

"Hinamori! Please I have important matters to attend to." I sighed as she closed her eyes to hide her tears. I reached to lightly wipe away her tears. "Some other time then, I promise." I watched as Matsumoto lead Hinamori out of sight.

"Now how about we have our discussion over tea?" I said while I still watched the corner my subordinates disappeared around, and then I looked up at the night sky to ask myself. _How much has changed?_

I began to head back to my headquarters as Matsumoto called around the corner much sooner than expected. "Momo had some important matters to attend to in Karakura Town, so she won't be returning till 8:30."_So late, that means I have an hour and a half. _ I exchanged a few words with Matsumoto along with a good-night until I got to my headquarters which greeted me with the scent of fresh brewed tea with the Fujitakes across from me. _Well lets get down to business. _And I closed the door behind me.

9:00pm

"I see."_I was wrong, too much has changed. _

"Actually it could of happened much sooner if she wasn't sent on that mission but remember if she still keeps interest in it we won't have to think of alternatives. As you already know, it's to keep her safe from what's happening during the time she's gone." I cocked an eyebrow at them and frowned. "You're telling me that you sent your _own_subordinate to the human world to protect her, even though it's much safer for her to be in the supervision of her superiors?" I hissed.

"It wasn't out decision; Commander Yamamoto set shinigami to Karakura town to protect the innocent people there." I glowered at them. "Why didn't _you _or anyone else go?" Tomoe glared at me. "We can't, besides it's not like she was sent alone she was accompanied by other fellow shinigami." I clenched my jaw.

"I see. I understand now, the only reason why you didn't stop her was because you still haven't told her have you?" Tomoe flinched. "It could change everything." I growled. "Don't give me that shit; there are much worse things that could do so much more to her if she found out. I thought I told you to tell her before I returned but I guess not and you-"

I stopped as Tomoe placed herself in front of her husband. "He has_nothing _to do with this." I snickered. "Don't be stupid Tomoe; he's part of you now so he has a reason to be part of _your_ life." Tomoe and I continued to stare each other down until a knock at the door broke the tension. I turned to see a shadow through the paper-mache door; _Matsumoto. _

"Excuse me for the intrusion but I have a concern to report, I am beginning to worry as Hinamori fuki-taichou has not returned as she should have an hour ago, but it seems that she has not. That is all." Once I heard those words I was at the door. "Wait! Hitsugaya-taichou we are not finished." Tomoe hissed. Matsumoto slid the door open for me as I stepped into the vacant corridor. "What are you doing?!" I stopped and pivoted to the left. "Isn't it obvious? I am going to save your fuki-taichou. I know what you're thinking Tomoe but as long as I am here you're going to tell her when I return with her. But for now I need you to do something for me." I didn't have time to hear her response but I thought I heard the words "I won't tell her until you do." I was already making my way through the darkness that now engulfed Soul Society. In no time, I was in the transient world and I could feel traced of Hinamori everywhere, I closed my eyes to focus on where her reitsu was strongest. _Karakura School! _ But somewhere in that school, Hinamori was not alone.


	3. The Secret's Out

Chapter 3

_ The woman opened her eyes as she laid in the snow with her halter cut dress smeared in blood oblivious as the fierce wind whipped her face. _

"_It's so cold, what's this snow?"_

"_Why is it red?"_

_In the distance she heard the light 'crunch' as a figure appeared._

"_Are you lost woman?" the voice echoed in the distance._

"_If that's the case, can I eat you?" the figure emerged with blood-red eyes revealing its razor sharp teeth in a devilish grin. The woman closed her eyes and wrapped herself with her arms which was followed by a loud 'snap', and then all was silent. _

"_Hollows who disguise themselves as humans."_

I winced as I looked at my reflection; I was so tired that it felt like my head was disconnected from my body. _I have to get home soon, school tomorrow_. I groaned. I ran the water cold before splashing my face, but my body was so worn out I thought I might faint. I headed back out into the hallways as I began to walk I glanced at the school clock. _9:40! Damn it! I didn't realize it was so late. _I dashed back to the classroom only to find my English project waiting for me outside the door.

On the project was a bright green post-it that said. "Got scared eh? That you had to run to the lady's room after, and you said you weren't even scared. Tsk. It's just a story no need to worry about it. Well take this downstairs, I am in room 205.

_ Shiki, Ryuu._

_ Give me a break, I wasn't scared, her predator bit her. That was how it ending, what a lame ending. _I placed the display board in my English class as instructed by Shiki-kun, but he wasn't there and I closed the door. Down the hall a red light caught my eye, _Room 215, the photography development room/dark room. _I proceeded down to the end, but before I opened the door I heard a light 'crunch' under my foot. It was a small red circular pill about 1 cm with bits now chipped off; I pinched the pill between my thumb and forefinger to examine it closely.

_ Food tablet. _A light groaned interrupted my thoughts as it came from darkroom; I stepped inside and shivered as everything was red like the colour of blood. I erased the thought from my head.

"Shiki-kun, are you in here?" I whispered.

No response.

"Come on, this isn't funny." My voice was shaking. I was actually scared.

"Shiki-kun."

A large red figure was standing farther in the room, it groaned again.

"Get out of here, Momo." His voice was faint.

"What's going on Shiki-kun, are you okay? He emerged in his shinigami outfit and he was glaring.

"You aren't acting like yourself." I began to reach for him but he slapped my hand away.

"Just leave me alone." He snapped and ran down the hall.

"Shiki-kun." _It's always been this way, he's never actually opened up to me, and he's pushing me away. Ryuu still doesn't trust me even though I've been the closest to him since we've been assigned the 'special mission', ever since then we've always been together. _I ate a soul candy then I was dashing through the halls. _Shiki-kun!_

He was back upstairs in room 103.

"Shiki-kun!"

"I begged you to stay away from me, Momo." He was breathing hard.

"Ryuu?!"

"You can't look!" he screamed. In an instant he was behind me holding me against him. He brought his hand to clutch my face. I felt his breath hot on my neck and face, and then I felt pain.

_Huh? _My breathing was coming out in huffs "Hah…Hah"

"Shiki-kun…" _What's going on? My reitsu is being drained…_

"No! Stop!" I shoved him off of me and caught balance on one of the desks.

_Eyes which are blood-red, a beast in the shape of a man with teeth razor sharp. We call them hollows. _

_Although Ryuu will never be human again, to have suppressed his instincts for more than half a year…it took more strength then I'll ever comprehend. _

"What…?"

"I am sorry, Hinamori."

_Shiki, Ryuu was a human boy but now he's a hollow?_

"Hinamori, I'm..." he took a step towards me, but I jerked back from him and my back hit the wall. I stared at Ryuu but we both stopped and then our expressions turned to shock. _Ah! This presence! _

"Hinamori?!" the voice came from outside the door.

"Hitsugaya-kun…" before I could say anything further his head snapped to Ryuu.

"So you've finally adapted to the bloodlust of beasts, Shiki Ryuu."

Hitsugaya flung his arm in from of me then he was standing in front of me. And then he began to unsheath his zanpakuto._Is he going to kill Shiki-kun?_

"Stop, Hitsugaya-kun!" I shouted and then flew myself in-between them but my head spun and I fell into Ryuu's arms.

"You drained her to the point where she can't even stand." Hitsugaya scoffed. He scooped me out of Shiki-kun's arms and began to carry me away. I looked at Shiki-kun one last time.

Hitsugaya brought me to the nurse's office and placed me on the bed. He left to call reinforcements, but was back a few minutes later. He extended a hand towards my face.

"Ah! It's okay really! If I just sit down for a while…" he stopped me from waving my hand, and placed a hand under my chin. "Let me see." He insisted.

"It's stopped bleeding, but the wound is deep." He explained.

"Hinamori, does it hurt?"

I didn't realize I was tearing until I felt the wet moisture on my face. "No, it doesn't hurt…" _My head is still spinning, but I know one thing for certain was that Shiki-kun attacked me tonight. _

'Knock, knock' It was onee-san. "Hitsugaya-taichou, could you head back with the others. They're getting restless with the sight and smell of blood." With that he left.

Onee-san began to peel a bandage and placed it on my wound.

"Kai has taken Ryuu back to his headquarters in squad 3."

"But how could I have not known Shiki-kun was a hollow?!" I yelled.

Onee-san seemed to be taken back by my question but she brushed it off saying that I was to not attend school tomorrow but stay at home to rest. But that night I didn't sleep at all, instead I stayed up thinking about Shiki-kun.

_ I didn't know anything, Shiki-kun for how long have you been afraid and alone? What kind of life did you have? You who hates hollow so much more than any shinigami in Soul Society, you would kill all of them if he could, but would you kill yourself? _

I stared at the picture of him and I, it was the day of our first class in Karakura High School. He was expressionless as ever, never smiling. _When was the first time you ever truly smiled? _I couldn't sleep at all. It was almost 1:30am as I kept on rolling and thrashing around on my futon. I sighed, and decided to do some history research.

"Hmmm, Hinamori fuki-taichou what brings you here so late at night?" he asked with a yawn.

"Sorry for disturbing you, but I was wondering if you could open the research library for me. There's something I want to check."

He looked at me with suspicion now. _Great. Just great. _

"What for?" he asked. There was no point in lying so I went with the truth.

"I am sure you've heard about Shiki, Ryuu's incident at Karakura School earlier during the night. And I wanted to check what happened it him before he changed."

"Sure! Well of course if you're so worried about him."

He opened the library for me and gave me the key telling me that I could stay as long as I liked but with a caution – "You must not reveal any of this information to anyone, and you must definitely not tell Hitsugaya-taichou I let you in tonight. Or you'll be the death of me."

I took that his warning was more of a "death" penalty than a caution. There were so much books and files everywhere that I didn't know where to start, plus I wasn't able to open the lights so I used a kidou spell. _Thank god, you listed each section with headings and the alphabet Ukitake-taichou. You really are a life saver. _

I went down the 'files' section till I hit 'S', I found Shiki-kun's file right away because it was tagged with red reflection tape. I opened the file.

_Name: Shiki, Ryuu_

_Gender: M_

_DOB: February.10 (year unknown)_

_Blood type: A (B-)_

_Age: Unknown_

_Occupation: Shinigami, High School student (current), VP_

_Residence: Soul Society/Karakura Town_

_Zanpakuto: None_

_Residence at Birth:_Tomoeda; District 78: Inuzuri (S.S)

Relatives: Shiki, Fujitaka (father) & Shiki, Nadeshiko (mother)

History: Confidential

I stared at the profile for several minutes; I wanted to scream because the part I wanted wasn't there. _Which means Ukitake has it somewhere? Damn it! _I slipped the file back in place, and went back towards the exit. I passed the other letters I came across the section 'E-H', and stopped. _I wonder. _I walked down the aisle till I hit 'F' this time I found my siblings folders beside one another, their files were tagged with blue reflection tape. I laid each folder beside one another.

_Name: Fujitake, Tomoe_

_Gender: F _

_DOB: April.27 (year unknown) _

_Blood type: B (AB) _

_Age: Unknown _

_Occupation: Shinigami, VP _

_Residence: Soul Society _

_Zanpakuto: Nando Demo (Golden Phoenix) _

_Residence at birth: Karakura Town/District 1(S.S) _

_Status: Married _

_Relatives: H.M (sister)/F.K (husband) _

_History: Confidential _

_Name: Fujitake, Kai_

_Gender: M_

_DOB: March.12 (year unknown)_

_Blood type: A (AB)_

_Age: Unknown_

_Occupation: Shinigami, VP_

_Residence: Soul Society_

_Zanpakuto: Amamizuba (Rainwater horse)_

_Residence at birth: Karakura Town/Distric 1(S.S)_

_Status: Married_

_Relatives: Hinamori Momo(Step. Sis)/Fujitake Tomoe(wife)_

_History: Confidential__  
_

_ The profiles are all so similar! And what the hell is VP?! _I slipped the files back into place and leaned against the shelves. I tilted my head to the right to look at all the files going from 'F-H' and that's when I saw a green reflection tape. I blinked a few times, but I didn't see it again. I lifted my hand to shine the kidou spell on the files farther down. Most of them didn't reflect but some had yellow, blue, and even purple labels. I continued to look for the green reflection tape but I couldn't find it. I lifted my hand to the middle of the shelf and walked towards the 'H' section.

I stepped back to light the whole 'H' section, and there it was the only green reflection tape. Most were tagged yellow, but somehow the green one stood out most. I couldn't reach the file even on tip-toes but my fingers could barely skim the edge of the folder. I jumped and clasped my fingers around the file but it slipped out of my hand and dropped to the ground, papers fell out and scattered across the floor. I plucked them from the ground randomly slipped them back into place. I was about to file it back into the shelf but then I read the name._Hitsugaya, Toushiro. _

_Name: Hitsugaya, Toushiro_

_Gender: M_

_DOB: December.20 (year unknown)_

_Blood Type: O (PB)_

_Age: Unknown_

_Occupation: Shinigami, VP_

_Residence: Soul Society_

_Zanpakuto: _Hyorinmaru

Residence at birth: District 1 (S.S)

History: Confidential

_ His profile was no different from the others. _I sighed and began to shelf the file back but a missed a page as it was on the floor. I set the file aside and picked up the paper, I stared at it dumbfounded. _What the hell is this? A glossary of terms, they have glossaries for profiles? _I read the first word on the paper.

_ DOB Date of birth. Well duh I knew that much. The paper was filled with at least 15 different words. I started to skim down the page and found. PB- pure blood. _

_What the hell? I continued on and found VP_

'_Scratch, scratch creeeaaakkkk' Damn it someone's coming in! _

I shoved Hitsugaya's profile to the highest part I could reach and canceled the kidou spell. It was pitch black besides the orange yellow glow coming from the entrance.

"Hinamori fuki-taichou?" it was Ukitake-taichou. I enabled the kidou spell again and ran to the entrance; he had turned off the light so I couldn't see anything. He was about to leave.

"Wait!" I shouted. He turned around to stare at me but instead he was wincing away from something.

"Ah! Hinamori fuki-taichou sorry to say but could you put that light out?!" he insisted.

"Huh? Oh sorry!" I disabled the spell and ran to him. I gave him back the library key and then we parted back to our headquarters. As I was heading back to my headquarters I slipped the glossary paper from my kimono but what I reading was also frightening yet confusing. I never headed back to my headquarters but instead I went to the 10th division only to find that Hitsugaya-kun wasn't there. _Damn it! I need to ask somebody what the hell is going on. _

I decided to wait for his return as I sat on his bed re-read the definition of VP over and over again. _I can't believe it. I guess I am going to have to test him. _I heard him enter his room so I shut the lights. I sat there waiting for the lights to turn on but they never came on. So I grabbed whatever object I first felt and whipped it at him. I didn't hear the slightest impact of object against wall or any grunt of pain. Instead the lights came on, and I saw Hitsugaya-kun holding the glass cup in his left hand.

"What are you doing here?" he growled. I winced at the tone in his voice.

"You tell me." I said and I slammed the paper against his dresser.

"What?" he asked in confusion. He proceeded towards his bed and me but I moved away from him to the end of his mattress. As he read the paper, I examined his expressions from confusion to shock, and then disappointment

"I…" he began but never finished.

"You were going to tell me, but when?" I questioned him. But he never responded back. "You were never going to tell me Hitsugaya!" I shouted, angry at him.

"What do you have to say then Hinamori?" he asked calmly. _He's playing with me. _

"What do I have to say, I am saying that you…" I began to cry.

"I am saying that…." I couldn't say it.

"I am what?" he spat at me telling me to get it over and done with.

"You're a vampire!" I spat it at him along with my anger and frustration.

_ VP- A beast in shape of a man with razor sharp teeth intruding from his upper lip with eyes glowing blood-red. He is a blood-drinker. That is what he really is. A monster in the disguise of a man they used to call it a hollow but now we call them 'Vampires.'_

_ Author Note: Totally not finished yet. Please Review!  
_


	4. Emotions

This chapter is yet again from Hinamori's POV anyways here it is. Enjoy!

Chapter 4

I silently cried into my legs as the stillness between us was driving me insane, but my mind was so foggy I didn't know what to do or say. I peeked through my strands of hair and there he was standing still, but to my surprise it was like he was staring through my locks of hair that hid my face because he was returning my gaze with the most hurtful expression. _Was it regret? Maybe disappoint? _But I couldn't tell.

"What?" he asked as our gaze was still locked. _He knew I was staring at him?_

I didn't answer him and whipped my gaze to his balcony. _Only a few more hours till sunrise… _He hesitated as my head snapped up once I heard him shuffling towards me, but he sat within arms reach of me. I narrowed my gaze at him, _touch me and I'll scream._

"I won't hurt you…" he mumbled. My gaze softened only for a fraction of a second at his tone. _He's hurt. _I blinked and looked down at his white coloured sheets and began fiddling with my fingers. I glanced at his black clock it was almost 3 am.

"You could sleep here." He said, realizing my current distraction. _And never see the light of day again. _I frowned at him, but all he did was sigh. "Or I could walk to back to your room."

"I'll walk myself. Thanks." I turned my body and threw my legs over the edge of his bed and snapped up. _Bad idea. _My head spun as my legs wobbled then I was falling forward, only to find myself leaning against _him. _"Careful." He said playfully as he bit his lip to hide his amusement to my current '_bad mood.' _I scowled. I straighten my posture as I retreated from him. He kept hold of my arm just in case I couldn't take that one step, I took it anyways. Once again I was falling as I felt him loosen his grip but tighten the instant I was losing conscious. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him again. "I think I can help you get there, just in case." He said hiding his enjoyment. I couldn't protest I was so freaking tired.

I felt the ground disappear from under me and then I was on his back flying smoothly through Seireitei. I was falling asleep as the ride felt like I was floating on air, the wind never whipping my face as I buried my face into his neck, but then it was over.

I felt his cold smooth hands loosen my death grip on his neck; his image was blurred as I tried to keep my eyes from closing on me. I was grateful when I felt him carry me to my bed; his arms disappeared from under my legs and back and then I was laying in the comfort of my futon. I opened my eyes as I never heard him retreat as predicted he was still there.

"I am still mad at you." I mumbled as I closed my eyes. He chuckled.

"Yeah I know." His tone doubtful, I never heard him leave as I finally fell asleep but at some point I felt his lips kiss my hand.

I awoke the next morning to find rays of light fill my room. I smiled, but only to wipe it off as my clock read _1:30. Crap! School! _But I realized it was too late, school was ending in less than two hours from now.

"_You won't be attending school tomorrow; instead you'll stay home and rest. I'll inform your school tomorrow morning." _Remembering onee-san's request, I decided to get out of bed and shower.

I felt so refreshed as I changed into my kosode, and dried my hair. I proceeded to my dresser to get my comb but stopped short as I found a note. It was written in a too familiar script anyways it read.

_Hey sleeping beauty._

_There are some things we need to discuss. I know that right now might not be a good time but there's a reason why your sister let you take a day out from school. Drop by my headquarters some time today and we'll clear the air. If not then 'I' at least need to know whether of not you'll be attending the 'special' occasion later tonight. _

_Sincerely Hitsugaya-taichou. _

_P.S- Gomenasai._

I re-read the note a few times. _Is this some sort of trick? _I threw the note aside and made my way out the door. _Maybe I don't need to tell you. _I pounded on the doors of the 3rd squad.

"Geez, What the hell?!" my brother threw opened the door, his expression alternating from angry to confusion.

"Hey…Momo, what brings you here?"

"I need to know where my sister is." I demanded. He cleared his throat, clearly alerted by my current mood. "Sorry she's not here. Maybe check the 10th-."

"Never mind." I cut in, and proceeded to leave.

"You know, you really shouldn't worry about it. It's not a big deal; he's just worried about you. That's all." He said stopping me in my tracks.

"How-"

"I know, that you know, well we all do actually most of us."

I narrowed my gaze at him. _He knows? Wait a minute… _My eyes widened with realization. _That's right, the ones I look up to my non-related siblings, but superiors. They too are vampires. _

"Then can you tell me what's happening tonight?" I asked.

"Sorry, no can do. I am sure that someone has already informed you just not with specifics, and as told you're not allowed to know unless you come to the 10th divisions later tonight." He answered, completely wiping away my hope.

"You're going to be there, who else is going then as well?" I asked curious now.

"Sorry can't tell you that either."

I sighed._Fine. _I began to walk back towards where I came. "Oh! By the way Momo, my 2 seated officer wanted to see you. His name is Shiki Ryuu, I am sure you know him very well." He stopped me short once again never turning back towards him. "He's in the 4th squad holding cell."

I never said a word of thanks to my brother as I shunpoed to the 4th division of medical and relief. Once I arrived there, Unohana-taichou didn't need an explanation but led me to one of her holding cells. _At least someone in Seireitei is normal. _Before I arrived at his holding cell, there was a medical cart just by the entrance hall of the cells. I stopped before turning to see that Unohana-taichou was gone. I grabbed a tube and slipped it into my sleeve before proceeding farther. There he was sitting in the corner of the one cell that blocked out the light. _He's like a helpless child. _

"Shiki-kun…"

"What are you doing here?" he asked his tone wasn't filled with menace as I thought but instead it was more like surprise. _It was the same as when I found him at the school._

"You asked for me remember." I mumbled.

"It was a test to see if you'd come or not, why'd you come here you idiot? Did you come to face your death?" now his voice was filled with menace. I winced.

"I…I just wanted to know how you were but if this is how you feel then I guess I'll-"

"You idiot, it was just a joke. You're so gullible." He said with a chuckle but the way the light glinted of his teeth made me gulp. "You have something for me."

I was surprised by his awareness.

"It's nothing" I lied.

"I've known the deepest of lies Momo, plus I've got senses greater than that of a dog." He explained. I revealed the test tube, his head snapped up his eyes only for the object now.

"I just thought…" I gulped. "That you might have been thirsty."

"Is it yours?" he asked.

"No it's Unohana-taichou's."

"I don't want it." He replied without hesitation shocking me.

"Not hungry?" I simply asked. I deliberated. _Wait. Does he mean…_

"I see." Realizing what he meant, instead I popped open the test tube. He growled.

I reached into the cell to place it on the ground but his hand snapped out and grabbed it from me. I gasped, jumping back against the opposite cell from his. I heard him gulping down the liquid followed by the shattering of glass. We stayed in silence for a few minutes.

"Just to inform you, I am no longer attending school in Karakura." He said breaking the silence. My expression changed to confusion.

"I've been removed from the mission. From now on I'll be in training in Soul Society to receive a zanpakuto."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. _The only ones left on the mission was Yumi-chan and I. God this sucked. _

_"_No one was allowed to know but I thought you at least should know." He explained. I never responded or in other words I didn't know how to respond to any of it.

He extended his hand out towards me through the bars. He was back to normal, well at least for now. I went to him.

"I thought that maybe I could say good-bye to you." He whispered. I held his hand with both of mine and leaned my head against the bars.

"Hinamori." He whispered. I cocked my head up but before I could say anything I felt his lips on mine, apparently the bars were wider than I thought. I immediately threw myself back hitting the opposite cell once again. I stared at him in shock.

"Please tell me that was a good-bye kiss." I whispered.

"I want to be with you Hinamori Momo."

I didn't say anything else before I was running at full speed through 4th squad back to my room. I slammed the door in process and slid to the floor. I didn't know what to do.

I didn't cry because my head was filled with too much things I thought I'd explode. Instead I went to my bed and found a rectangular box. On it was a note from _him_.

_Wear this for tonight when you come down. We'll be waiting. _

I didn't know whether to take it as a welcoming or a threat as I lifted the lid only to find a light pink dress with straps decorated with a silky peach coloured ribbon that wrapped around the waist along with a design of stitched flowers flowing from the left shoulder diagonally to the right hip. The bottom half only had a slit on the right side so I could walk properly either than that, it was it. _Some fancy occasion. _But still inside the box was a white elbow length gloves, a matching scarf to throw over my elbows, and a pair of small white strapped heels that criss-crossed around my feet leaving the toe area. I got dressed and headed to the destination of _living hell. _

I arrived to be greeted at the door with a man dressed in a white tuxedo. At least every male was dressed in a white or black tuxedo, but the woman were dressed in all different types of dresses of white, black, red, and purple. _I feel so out of place. _My attention was alerted to a couple seated on a dark brown couch, a more naïve guest would have assumed they were making out. One hand was wrapped around the man's neck as the woman's dirty blonde hair fell around her face, blocking from view the seam between her lips and the man's throat. His eyes were half closed, and one hand twined absently in the vampire's hair, holding her to his throat.

I recognized the dirty blonde hair, the figure of the woman, the man's blonde hair and wished I didn't. _Rangiku-san and Kira-kun._ I forced my attention to the rest of the room. _I am in a room full of vampires. That means it's dangerous for me to be here, even if vampires don't frequently kill. _

I was about to leave, but the vampire who had opened the door asked me a question. "I haven't seen you around here before. Who invited you?" His tone wasn't exactly suspicious but I could tell he was uneasy. He probably didn't care who I was as long as I could bleed.

"She's with me" I turned as I recognized that voice. The vampire who just talked to me sighed. "I should have known." He wandered off. Hitsugaya-kun ran his hand through his hair. I saw his eyes avert to the side, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rangiku-san release Kira as he lay back, a bit dazed. Rangiku-san stared back at me eyes wide as she saw me standing with Hitsugaya-kun. She wiped her lips clear of blood with the back of her hand.

_I already know what you are. _I mouthed. Her expression somewhat relieved, I looked around the room to see the faces of shinigami I knew. It was unbelievable. _A person from every squad was here, besides the ryoka that had attacked Soul Society. Even Kurosaki Ichigo was here along with Yoruichi and Urahara. But Ryuu was the only one I couldn't find. _Everything that I was trying to register through my head just frightened me more. I groaned.

"Why don't we go somewhere else for a minute?" Hitsugaya-kun suggested, looking at his vice-captain. She nodded. A few moments later I was in Hitsugaya's room which was not opened to guests. I hesitated as I found my older siblings awaiting us as well who had already made themselves comfortable.

"Some special occasion." I said sarcastically. Hitsugaya-kun had already seated himself across from my siblings. He gestured for me to sit beside him.

"Care to join us?" he asked innocently. I flicked my head towards the door. _It's better here than out there. _I walked over to them and took a seat beside Hitsugaya-kun. I crossed my arms and scowled._Tonight is going to be the longest night for sure. _


	5. Past Left Unsaid

Chapter 5

We all sat in silence, each of us not knowing how to start and Hinamori unknown what to do. Tomoe, you better start. I communicated with my mind. She sighed, fine.

"Momo…you're probably wondering what has been going on for the past few weeks well decades now, but we're all assuring you that it's nothing to be afraid of." She said full of confidence but deep down I knew she was mentally killing herself. But she continued nevertheless.

"This wasn't what anyone wanted or expected after the war in Hueco Mundo. It just happened…" her voice wavering.

"To be deemed a monster." Hinamori said. But the way she pronounced monster made it sound more of a threat to us or to any vampire for that matter. Tomoe gulped, her nerves getting to her. Time to interject.

"So are you saying that you wouldn't have wanted this either?" I said.

"What are you talking about?" shock evident over her face.

"In truth Hinamori, if it wasn't for me, you would have been the first damned shinigami in Soul Society."

Kai supported me. "Hitsugaya-taichou was the one who saved you after the war in Hueco Mundo only because before Aizen had fallen he summoned a ton of hollow which apparently were still infected with venom. The impact of reitsu knocked not only you but many others who aided in the war even severely injured Fukutaicho out. But by assuming in the state you were in back then, I couldn't even understand why you were there."

"Not only were the infected hollows stronger than those who weren't, they took advantage of the weakened shinigami probably due to the reitsu that faintly wavered out of the much stronger reitsu. Anyway different hollows had gone for each weakened shinigami, one being you. Despite having been severely injured Hitsugaya-taichou came to your aid only in a nick of time to be sliced along his right shoulder as the venom infused with his newly opened wound."

Hinamori sat there either in shock or disbelief but then the disgust on her face resurfaced. Her skin was pale to the point that she could have been mistaken to be a vampire; her hands were anxiously gripping her dress, and her eyes were wide as she bit her lower lip. I reached for her placing my right hand on her left hand to stop her from fidgeting. Her wide eyes snapped to my gaze.

"It's alright." I assured her.

"Why…did you save me?" her voice cracked and only above a whisper.

"I wasn't gonna let you die right there on the spot."

"But didn't you know that the hollows were infected?"

"Matter of fact none of us did, it was the first well we discovered it after I fled from Soul Society for about a month. I feasted on humans at first, but after I tried a new attempt; hollows. Even though they weren't as satifying as humans I still knew my place as shinigami so I returned to Soul Society. Only to find that some of the weakened shinigamis were in the same state as me, but some others weren't as lucky as they had lost their lives when the venom literally ate them from the insides. Unohana-taichou created an antidote to satisfy the thirst momentarily, which we still eat on a regular basis."

'They're called Food Tablets; we only eat them if we can't find a prey to feast on in time. But sometimes our lust is too strong we drink another vampire's blood or the extra stored bottles of blood." Tomoe stated. She seemed to return back to her normal state as she picked up her wine glass and took a sip; I glanced at Hinamori as she frowned in revulsion as to what Tomoe was really drinking. I stroked her hand; it didn't have its normal warmth as it felt slightly colder even under the glove. _It must be hard for you._

"For any matter, the most important thing you must know for us vampires in the transformations, well that's only if you'd want to." Hinamori hesitated before giving a slight nod. "It's simply really it's just blood bonding, that of a vampire and that of a mortal being or to be bit by one of us. But there are side affects; we haven't discovered any negativity well maybe to the fact that even though the 4th division is immortal, they're actual immune to the bloodlust but they still need to drink on a regular schedule. As for the rest of us, it's already been explained however all vampire gain immortality, super-strength, our senses are 10 times better and apparently we're good eye candy."

We all laughed under out breathes that was inaudible for Hinamori to hear but a slight tint of pink shaded her cheeks. Tomoe, I believed you've told her everything, except one. My gaze locked with hers as she narrowed her eyes. She sighed.

"That's enough about vampire for now, but there's one important thing 'I' need to tell you." Hinamori alerted her eyes towards Tomoe. "When I was just a normal young human girl, I had the perfect life with a happy family of four including me living in Karakura Town. We lived the best life I never though possible, we were rich, popular, and we benefited everyone in so many ways. We were a truly generous family."

"But it wasn't until that dark day fell upon my family which I'll never forget, it was the day my parents were killed in front of my own eyes, I was only 10. My mother had given birth to a baby girl, 5 years younger then me since she was only 5 years old I knew she wouldn't remember having witnessed the horrible sight. My mother was a substitute shinigami so she still lived a regular human life but she died sacrificing herself to save my sister and me. She told me her wish before I escaped, she told me to live my life as a human protecting what was important to me. That was the last I saw of her."

"The one part of my life I never remember was my death at the age of 20 in human years anyway; I was sent to Soul Society living in Rukongai, District 1 and became a shinigami still coming back to Karakura Town everyday to watch over my little sister who lived as a normal human as I was unseen by others. But she died when she was only 11 years old I sent her to Soul Society so I could watch over her there, but then it was forbidden. So I waited hoping for her to come back to me."

Everyone took a moment for Hinamori to absorb the information surprisingly she just waited in silence for Tomoe; I nodded for her to continue or at least finish.

"My sister became a shinigami as I hoped even though that had broken everything my mother ever wished for the both of us, but as long as we both lived it was alright in most cases at least. But it wasn't until Aizen came that he secretly captured me and he brought me to Hueco Mundo impressed by my skills he wanted me as an underling but I always gave him shit. In Hueco Mundo I found another shinigami who was there for the same reasons as I was, it was Kai. Kai and I plotted ways to get back to Soul Society but it was impossible so we decided to train till the time was right, and that was after so many years Ichigo and company came for Inoue, Orhime's rescue. But before that time my hatred for Aizen grew, but it went to extremes when I found out those he had killed and one of them was my younger sister but she survived somehow and now she sits across from me mesmerized. Hinamori you're truly my younger sister by blood."

Hinamori groaned as she closed her eyes, she fell back against the cushion with hand on forehead. She took a lot of deep breathes before rising to her feet, at first I thought she was heading for the door, but then she sped walk to my balcony throwing open the doors. I looked at Tomoe's pained expression and Kai's shock, it's just a lot for her to take in, you guys better head off first. I'll see you soon. Kai nodded and grabbed Tomoe's hand dragging her out of my room silently shutting the door. I gracefully walked and stepped out onto my balcony and wrapped an arm around Hinamori's waist while slowly loosening her grip on the handle bars with my other hand. She was hyperventilating. I pulled her away from the bars and she fell against me as I gently brushed her hair. I wrapped my arms tightening my hold and waited for her to calm down.

Moments later she gently freed herself from my grasp and turned around to sink her head into my chest. I rewrapped my arms around her; I rested my head on hers and kissed her hair. I watched Seireitei in the horizon but only until I felt Hinamori's tears soaking through my suit, and pulled away from her. She had her eyes closed but when she opened them they were filled with moisture, she began to wipe her face but I stopped her.

"You'll ruin your make-up."

"It's water-proof." She laughed. I entwined one of our hands together as I brushed my fingers along the side of her face with my other. She smiled then sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier about everything so what happens now?" she whispered her expression dropped. I frowned.

"Honestly I was afraid of what you'd do and how you'd react, would you go back into your old lone state or would you do worse and leave. I am still sorry about everything and I always will be, but for now why don't you come with me." I lightened the mood with a smile. She laughed. I dragged her back into the room with our hands still entwine we sat back down on the black couch. Then I grabbed an emerald green box from under the coffee table and placed it on her lap. She looked from me to the box then back again. "Just open it."

She took a deep breathe before opening it but when she did I didn't see her exhale as her eyes widened at the white diamond mask. Then she exhaled. The mask sparkled as she gently it took out and held it in two hands. She cocked her head to the side, confused. I smirked and walked over to my closet and took out my own matching silk mask. Her eyes narrowed.

"That doesn't answer my question, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Put it on." I instructed. She sighed and proceeded to put it on but her hair was clipped up so the strap didn't fit around her head. I slipped my mask on as I walked back to her.

"I am going to have to take this out."

"But it took me so long to-" I unclipped it as her hair cascaded in long brown curls over her slender shoulders. She's even more beautiful. She glowered.

I took her hand and led her to my body length mirror, she evened out her hair and then I took the mask from her as I let mine rest on my forehead. I tenderly slipped her mask on and fastened it in place. Our masks only covered the eye area but otherwise we looked fine even though Hinamori was already going to stand out from the crowd in her bright coloured dress. But something on her was missing. I went back to the couch and looked inside the box and then I found it. Hinamori proceeded to take off her mask but I shook my head instructing her to turn back around closing her eyes in the process. I fastened the thin silver chain with a circular diamond pendent on her neck. She opened her eyes and frowned.

"Aren't I just a little bit to over-dressed?" she said suspiciously.

"You're perfect." I purred into her ear. I snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her from the mirror.

"Where are we going?"

"Well, my headquarters was just the meeting area and now we're heading to the real party."

We arrived at our destination. The previous setting of Central 46. Every shinigami was here surrounded by all sorts of decorations. Reminds me of Kurosaki's graduation party, just darkened. Everything was perfectly clear from my point of view, but Hinamori was still just a regular shinigami squinting into apparently pitch black.

"I can't see a thing." She sounded disappointed.

"Don't worry, 'I' can plus this way you won't stand out as much."

"But won't people I don't know 'smell' me?" A hint of fright in her voice.

"Our senses are only sharpest when in danger or hunting, but right now everyone is your typical shinigami, they're barriers are completely down. So they can only sense reitsu. As for us we've hidden that."

I led her into the bash with no one noticing our entrance until we hit the stage when the band finished playing. I couldn't tell if the audience was clapping for the band, my entrance, or both. But all eyes were on me and Hinamori who was now visible in the red light buried her face into my back. Faint cheers of 'woot' and whistles were heard, I even heard a faint Go Hinamori-Fukutaicho! The band consisted of 4 shinigami members. Tomoe Singer, sometimes playing an electric guitar, KaiBack-up singer playing any extra instruments, Kurosaki Drummer, and KuchikiKeyboards_. Mind playing a slow song?_ Tomoe smirked. _Not at all._ She winked at Hinamori.

I led her off the stage as the crowd went back into their own world. "May I have this dance?" I asked as I reached for her hand. She laughed. "Sure." And then Tomoe began to sing.

_Always, always embracing_

_The fragments that rained into my hands_

_I already had the strength_

_To keep smiling to the end_

I pulled her closer to me and then she leant her head on my shoulder. And we both just let the music take us away into our world.

_Good morning_

_Waking is dazzlingly sad_

_I'm glad that our weakness_

_Wouldn't let us say goodbye_

_Like love, this routine kindness between us_

_Blooms like a flower_

_The low clouds, the silence waiting for the wind_

_I can no longer hear them_

_Always, always embracing_

_The fragments that rained into my hands_

_I already had the strength_

_To keep smiling to the end_

_I won't cry anymore, I won't cry anymore, I won't cry..._

She tensed and then everything about the moment was wrong. At this distance, at this time, Hinamori's reitsu ran over my skin like a thousand spider legs scampering across bare flesh. She sensed _him _at the same time I saw him in the crowd. We stopped dancing. _How distracting it must have been for her to not have recognized Shiki's presence. _

"I am sorry, I can't do this." She whispered before she turned away. She who had been taught to fight till the very end, win or lose, now she ran from one of the very creatures that she had befriended. I watched her slip off her mask as she went through the crowd back out the entrance we came in. _Shiki wasn't a threat physically until he hurt Hinamori.Hinamori if you tend to end the friendship, I'll let you do it your own way. _I kept my gaze on the vampire until he slipped around the corner and that was my cue to follow not far behind.

**Author's Note: If you're wondering about the song it's ****Last Regrets by Key & Ayana**** from Kanon's OP. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter & please review. Thanks a lot to those who've read and reviewed my story I really appreciate it and it's far from over. **


	6. Let me get what I want

Chapter 5

"What the hell are you doing here?" I whispered fiercely.

"What the hell was that about?" Ryuu asked, bewildered.

"I was…invited."

"That's not what I am talking about…" he spat.

I sighed. "Hitsugaya-taichou… doesn't like you." That was all I could think of what to say at this moment. "Come here away from the doors. I need to talk to you, and I don't want someone wandering into our conversation." I led him outside to the back of the building.

"What did I do?" He asked while I hesitated on how to explain.

"You-"_ are a blood-sucking leech, who's a disgrace to your own kind- _didn't do anything wrong," I took a deep breath to choose my next words carefully, because this was probably the closest thing I ever had to a true friendship.

"But I need you to leave me alone." I kept the pain from my voice. "I can't keep continuing this double life, I want you to stay away from me, don't talk to me, don't come near me, and don't even look at me."

"If that's how you feel," he answered, his voice cooler than a moment ago, though I could still hear hurt in it. _I've hidden enough of my own emotions so I understand that you're trying to do the same. _

"I am sorry."

"Don't be you aren't the first to turn me down, and you probably won't be the last."

"I don't want you getting hurt, Shiki-kun." He shrugged, turning away, as if it didn't matter. "Is it because you're now under the surveillance of a pure blood? But you should know, it's harder to do than one might think letting things go." he answered bitterly. I shook my head; the tears wishing to fall. "It's not like that."

_I can't leave you like this, not without understanding; I don't want you hurt because of me…_

"Ryuu, turn around."

"I'll be leaving. I won't bother you."

"Look at me!" He turned around, his face completely neutral except for a hint of anger behind his eyes.

"What?" His voice was cold, controlled but very different from the Shiki-kun I once knew. _I wonder when you learnt how to show nothing of thoughts, nothing of feelings. _

"It isn't you." I said quietly. My hands trembled as I gritted my teeth while my heart was being turn to pieces. _Must not cry._

"It isn't who you are…and it isn't even what you are. Well, in a way it is, but…" I was beginning to sound like an idiot, I knew, but the necessary words just weren't coming. "It's not what you are; well it's not what any of you are. It's what I am."

He started to ask a question, and then paused.

"Shiki-kun…I am not like you. I am a regular mortal warm blooded shinigami; I am only a burden to those who exist like you, those who will tend to thirst for me."

"I don't care if you're nothing like the rest of us, you're still Hinamori Momo."

In answer, I drew the kunai knife I had hidden beneath the peach ribbon behind my back; the moon glinting off its silver hilt. "I am still a shinigami."

He swore under his breath and I smiled wryly. "And I still have to do what's right to protect myself."

Now he looked at me with a small amount of scepticism, which was the last thing I expected. "You? But you're…."

I sheathed my knife telling him that I was no threat to him, yet. "I am what?"

"I've met a lot of hunters during my time Momo…." He raised his hand, gestured vaguely. "You're not one of them nor do you seem like the type."

Stepping forward, I spread my right hand flat against his chest and my left over his throat, pushing him back into the wall.

Shock filled Ryuu's features, but then he said, "Your knife is still on your back and if this was a real fight, we both know I could kill you before you could reach it."

I closed my right hand, drawing his attention to its position above his non-beating heart, and then moved it to the wall.

I moved my left hand from the wall, then with my mind I reached out to concentrate my reitsu and a blaze of light flashed from my index finger. Slicing two inches into the wood paneling of the wall inches away from Ryuu's head.

"Don't underestimate me, Ryuu."

"Are you going to kill me, Momo?" he asked but there was no fear in his voice just an edge of anger. He was getting defensive, trying not to let his hurt show. I recognized his anger much less painful to feel than sorrow.

"I am not going to kill you. I don't want _any of them _to."

"I can take care of myself." _He's so fearless; he doesn't seem the least bit worried._

"Meaning what? If any of the others were to attack you, you'd kill them? There's no good situation here, except for you to leave me alone. I am not your type."

"And neither is he, Momo I don't care who you are," he repeated. I've taken a much worse threat than this, I even have scars, but I am still alive. If someone attacks me, I leave. That's how I've survived for more than fifty years."

I flinched. _Then how the hell did you end up here?_

The question was shoved from my mind as I processed the comment about 'fifty years.' According to the story earlier today, every vampire was easily three times as old as they appeared to be. I bit back my questions, and focused on the issue at hand.

"Ryuu, maybe you don't care, but I do."

"You're a fukutaicho you've disobeyed the law before many times before. What's the worst that could happen now?" The question was shocking naïve. _Images of my previous captain's betrayal and my betrayal against those I cared for flashed before my eyes. _

'The worst? Ryuu, you don't understand. I've befriended a vampire who's already threatened my life, if I continue to be with you there's a chance that it'll happen again. Not only that I've done more than enough haven given you that blood tube. It's against the rules of vampires to transform another being plus it's against the rules for me to even be around your kind."

"I wouldn't hurt you again Momo, plus about your last statement that's not possible now because you've already broken that rule haven been in a room full of vampires."

"They haven't done anything to hurt me." I whispered.

"Not yet, they haven't." he snapped. Still not understanding.

"I trust them. But that still doesn't mean I won't fight back, or else that would be the same as them killing me."

"I won't let them change you Momo." He whispered. I was taken back by the turn of our conversation. "It's not like that."

"Is that why you want me to stay away from you because you 'assume' your precious friends won't hurt you?" The question sunk deep with a hint of pain.

I paused only for a moment. "They'll kill you if you they see you with me again. Maybe you're willing to risk that but I am not. I would need to defend myself, so if you come at me again. I'll have to act."

For an instant, some trick of shadow combined with my guilt made him look not like a friend who had been betrayed but like an enemy who had been wronged.

"Fine," he answered but now his voice was like a steel door closing on some of the best times I ever had.

As soon as Ryuu was out of sight, I ran from the Central 46 Chamber. Once I could no longer run I leaned against the wall my heart pounding in my chest and my hands were trembling; as soon as I noticed, the movement ceased. I closed my eyes and slid down to the ground, the stillness of the night was making everything seem so empty; the air was crisp and cold enough to see my breath.

I sat there for an extra couple of minutes deliberating whether or not just to stay and freeze, but my body kept on rejecting the cold as parts of it kept on twitching. Annoyed I got kicked of my heels not bothering to pick them up and walked all the way back to my room. My feet were killing me but my cold wooden floors eased the pain. I gazed at myself in the mirror and threw the mask that was strapped around me neck onto the floor; I paused as I ran a finger along the diamond pendant hanging off the silver chain, even in the pitch darkness it sparkled. I gritted my teeth and bit my lip as I wrapped my fingers around the chain and ripped it from my neck.

I stripped off the dress and left it on the floor as I slide my door shut I went and fell back onto my bed only in a matching pair of bra and panty. I wrapped myself in my silky white sheets as I finally let my tears flow freely as I silently cried and muffled my screams into my pillow. I cried myself dry as I lay in bed as the darkness engulfed everything in the room. It wasn't until I saw a shadow pause by my door then turn to leave, I shot up. The first movement I made in the last half in hour. I tip-toed out of bed and slipped on my kosode and slowly slid open my door. I popped my head out and looked from left to right down the empty corridor. An emerald green box was placed perfectly in front of me, and bent down to pick it up inside of it was the pair of white heels I had left behind. Along with it a note – _It doesn't have to be this way…but you make it seem like you need me, but the one Momo needs isn't me. _

It wasn't signed so I couldn't tell who it was from but that person had asked someone to drop it off along with the green box from Hitsguaya-kun. _I guess he wants the stuff back. _

I went back inside this time turning on the lights; I picked up the dress and cleaned it off along with the mask. Then I looked at the necklace on my dresser, and frowned. I slipped it into my pocket then I combed my hair out and tied my kosode then I was walking through the corridors of Seireitei. I arrived to my destination with no lights on. _Maybe he's not back yet. _But then I heard shuffling inside. I couldn't see anything since it was dark outside, plus my vision wasn't exactly perfect. The shuffling inside got a little louder then I heard a light 'smack' like someone had playfully hit another on their head. Then someone giggled. _A girl. _

"Ouch! That hurts!" the girl whispered then giggled again.

"Sorry…" I didn't have to tell who it was even though I couldn't clearly hear his voice. At first I froze with shock, then I began to back away but the floor boards creaked.

"What?"

"Hm?" the girl murmured. "Is someone there?"

_Shit! _I tip-toed around the corner just in time to hear the door open and I silently kept on walking. Then I began sprinting once I hit the next corner I flicked my head back as I landed on a building only in time to see a figure emerge from the corner I just fled from. I was back in my room breathing heavily feeling the same way I felt after my conversation with Ryuu but somehow this time I felt worse as if my heart was about to die out any time now. I blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. _Why am I so worked up about this?! God! Damn it! _

I closed as I began to silently sob for the second time in the past hour. Afterwards I took a few deep breaths to clam myself down before I headed to mourn some more in my bed. But that wasn't until I felt a presence at my door, with my back still towards it I slowly slid the covers over me as I pretended to be asleep.

"Hinamori open the door." Hitsugaya whispered. _Go away! _I wanted to screamed but it was better having him know I was asleep. "I am coming in." I heard the door slide open, I never heard it close nor did I hear him approach my bed. I kept evenly breathing as I tried to relax my posture but at points my body was too stiff. I felt him sit by my legs, my body was getting warm as I knew he was watching me or for any change of expression in my face. I rolled over the face the door as my legs accidentally kicked him but my eyes were still closed, posture still relaxed and I was still '_asleep_.' I felt his weight disappear from the end of my bed. _Please go…please go. _

I didn't know when to open my eyes because his entrances and exits were always dead silent but not once did I take the chance to open my eyes even if he was gone. But then he wasn't as I felt his hand on my right shoulder. I began to get warm as the blood began to rush from my feet to my head, but before he could tell the change in my temperature he lifted his hand. _So far so good! _

It felt uncomfortable as I tried to keep my eyelids from wavering. I knew he was still watching me. There was a lump of air gathering in my throat._I have to swallow! _But before I could I felt his cold hand on my neck. _Ouch! _I shot out of bed smacking his arm away in the process as I stared at him in shock.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I screamed.

"Hinamori calm down, you're bleeding." He whispered while signalling to keep my voice down.

_What?_My hand flew to my neck then on my palm was a thin line of blood._How the hell did that get there? _I could feel it spread out across my neck. Hitsguaya narrowed his eyes at me.

"What did you do with the necklace?" he asked. My eyes widened, then I slipped my hand into my pocket and I pulled out the necklace I examined it. I couldn't see any line of blood on the chain then I ran to my mirror and examined my neck. Around the back was a thin pink line from the necklace where I had ripped it off and on the right side of my neck was the freshly bleeding wound. I whipped around as I kept my hand on the wound.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I am fine, it's not hard to clean plus I don't think you shouldn't keep your friend waiting. So you should leave."

His expression went beyond confusion, and then his eyebrows lifted only for a moment.

"I just went to drop off what I borrowed from last night." It was currently 1:30am.

He sighed. "It's not what you think; someone was injured during the dance so I helped her clean her wound."

That didn't make anything less relieving it only made my face go in repulsion. "Trust me. It's nothing like 'that' plus even though I am…you know. I still have the ability of a normal shinigami."

_He doesn't drink blood purposely. _I felt the blood run through my fingers. I stared at my hand. Hitsugaya disappeared from view then he was in front of me holding a white cloth against my neck.

"Hold it in place." He left as I heard the water running, he came back with a bowl full of water and then we began to clean my wound.We finished cleaning it and then he helped me place a bandage on it. I looked down at the bowl of water now a light red. I grimaced.

"The neck holds a lot of blood." he murmured.

I went to sit down on my bed as he went to clean out the bowl. I felt a sticky moisture on my hand. _I forget to wash my hand. _I waited until Hitsugaya came out and then I walked passed him well tried.

"I need to clean my hand." I whispered as I kept it hidden under my left elbow. I tried to clean it the best I could but there was still small amounts of dried blood on my fingertips. I came out as I saw him spread out on my bed like a statue with his hands behind his head.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"I am fine but right now I think I need to sleep." He gracefully got up from my bed and moved so I could sit but he caught my 'right' hand and I froze.

"You didn't clean it very well." He whispered unsatisfied. He kept on eyeing my hand. "Are you okay?" I gulped.

"Hm…why wouldn't I be?" he said in a low seductive voice. I felt a slight jolt of panic. I felt him approach me. My right hand twitched as he raised it to his face spreading my fingers out. His gaze never left mine as he began to graze his nose against my hand until my fingers touched his lip he then slid his gaze to my fingers. I bit my lip and stiffened as I felt the tip of my index and middle finger between his lips, it was only for a moment did I feel his tongue along them; it went by so fast that I didn't realize he had licked all my fingers clean. He dropped my hand and I stood there in shock. I was shaking as my left hand squeezed my right arm. My lip was trembling; I wasn't sure if I was afraid or if I was in shock, maybe both?

I stared at him as I gave him a wryly smile. He only smirked as if he was completely fine with what just happened. He moved closer finally closing that gap between us as he wrapped his arms around me. I froze as I slowly grasped his captain's cloak trying to push him away. I felt him retreat a little as I lifted my head up to look at him. I gulped as I felt the blood rushing through my body making me warm yet again as my heart was pounding inside my chest. I felt his gaze burning into me even when I felt his breath fanning across my face and then everything was still as if there was no time or space between us. His lips softly grazed mine only for a moment then he retreated, I opened my eyes, our noses almost touching. I moved as if in trance as my hand grasped the hair at the back of his head then I was kissing him again. First softly teasing and then our movements were getting rougher as our passion for each other grew deeper. I had never been kissed, really kissed before, however as far as first kisses went… like all of Hitsugaya's skills, his kisses were expertly done.

**Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed it & thank you for reading and reviewing! The end is not even close ;) **


	7. Self Control

Chapter 7

I opened my eyes to find an empty white pillow and unoccupied peach sheets where Hinamori was suppose to be, and I groaned as I saw the light fluttering through her blue drapes. I closed my eyes and groaned again into my hands as I remembered the night before. Her kisses so soft and sweet, yet she made me lose my guard. 

_I was careless, but thank god she fainted due to either my expertise or exhaustion. _

I rolled out of her bed and hit my head on her night desk. _Shit! _I wrinkled my nose. _Her scent is still in my head, hazy but it's there. _

I noticed a folded pink paper on the desk I just hit my head on. It read:_Sorry, I've got school, plus I couldn't wake you because you just looked so cute. Anyways talk to you later. _The note was doodled on with a bunch of hearts and xoxo. I sighed. I got off the floor and headed to the door, I took a deep breath before opening it then I let the sunlight hit me immediately shielding my eyes. 

_Vampires can last in the sun for about a half n hour until their completely covered in freshly bleeding wounds but we're also fast healers. As for me, I can last up to an hour maximum before I can actually feel the pain, and kidou doesn't affect me in any way unlike the others. That's what I get for being a pure blood, being put in second command with the Commander-General overall but that's only because I am the one with the 'most' experience. He puts me in charge of the new fledglings. _

I crept deep within the shadows of Seireitei until I arrived at my destination to find that Matsumoto had already finished off the paper work. _I am impressed. _She smiled at me. _Not at all, it's not everyday that I find my taichou so preoccupied. Getting it on with the fukutaicho of the 5th?_

I growled. _Okay! Okay! Relax. I just find it hard to believe that 'you' couldn't control the lust. Did she really taste that delicious? _I sighed. _She's better than I imagined, if I hadn't fed the day before, I could of taken her life right then and there. _Matsumoto smirked. _Can I have a taste? _

She began to slowly approach me, her expression; innocent. She used two fingers to slowly make them walk up my chest. I narrowed my eyes and glared at her. _I am sure you still have some of her blood on you somewhere. _I grabbed her hand and dropped it. _Sorry I don't have enough to share. _"Taichou, that's not fair! You can't take Hinamori-chan away!" I smirked and waved at her. "Whose gonna stop me?" I joked.

I arrived at the first divisions' headquarters and knocked on the Commander-General's door. "Proceed." I heard his command muffled by the thick doors. "Ah, Hitsugaya-taichou I've been expecting you. Please make yourself comfortable."

I placed myself on a chair and cleared my throat. "There's a matter I need to discuss with you."

"Is this concerning Hinamori-Fukutaicho?" I didn't respond.

"I see. Yes I've just had a discussion with Kai-taichou a few days back, concerning about Shiki Ryuu's condition." 

My eyebrow twitched as I clenched my jaw. _Shiki Ryuu._ I repeated the name to myself. "What about him?" I asked uninterested.

"I believe he's learned his zanpakuto's name." I felt a slight pain as if my heart was supposed to skip a beat. 

"What?" I whispered. "What does this mean?"

"It means that he's capable of being in position of a vice-captain."

'There's no room for him." I shot back.

"Indeed there's not, besides one; Hinamori Momo of the 5th." I clicked my teeth. 

"She's only similar to that of a mortal meaning that it's not possible for her to be one." 

_And if she wasn't? _The Commander-General raised an eyebrow. _It's against the law to change another being, unless he/she is in a near-death state either than that, Hitsugaya-taichou I assume for you to follow orders, and understand that this will not change. _

_Of course sir, if you'll excuse me._

I headed back to my headquarters only to stop as I heard Tomoe and Matsumoto in the midst of their 'girl' chats. _I don't want to be in the middle of that again, and worse they were drunk last time. _I headed for a place that I knew I could clear my head. _Rukongai. _I didn't realize how slow I was actually going until I felt Hinamori's reitsu coming from the Sokyoku hill. _She's home. _

I deliberated only for a second then I was heading back in minutes. It didn't surprise me that she wasn't there but I didn't expect her to shove me into her room even before I felt her behind me. The next thing I knew was that I was on her bed staring at her as she straddled me. 

"Hinamori?"

"I am home." She purred into my ear.

I felt her nibble my ear then she was trailing her mouth along my neck and jaw; biting and kissing till she had me in a full out make-out session. I let her continue her teasing even when she twisted and played with my hair as she kept kissing me along the neck. But I stiffened when I felt her hands run pass my neck and arms as she began play with my cloaks. 

I moved my hands to immediately grasp hers, but she didn't seem to mind as she occupied my mouth once again slipping her tongue into my mouth as she wanted me to play. I released her hands, thankful that they didn't move as I slid mine up her arms. 

She smiled and moaned against my lips as I continued along her sides and then I tickled her. She snapped up and began to laugh as I continued to tickle her more.

"Stop, H-Hitsu-hee-hee- gaya-kun! Eeek!" she squealed. 

I stopped when I saw tears coming out of her eyes and then she slapped my hands away and fell backwards onto the opposite side of the futon. We were both panting as we silently waited for our breath to returns.

"Wow." Hinamori gasped after she sat up to smile at me.

I smirked at her when she proceeded to lie down beside me, and then I wrapped an arm around her as she snuggled into me. 

"So how was your day?" I whispered.

"Same old, same old; teach, learn, work, and home."

"I see."

"And yours?" I frowned.

"Very…interesting." I mumbled. 

"Hm…how?" she began to trace patterns along my chest.

"Well to start things off, Shiki Ryuu learned his zanpakuto's name and that he was capable for being a vice-captain," her fingers paused only for a moment and began again. "And the Commander-General said that you'd be fit enough to be a mortal meaning that Ryuu would take position," I gulped. "In your place."

"What?" Her fingers twitched on my chest.

"But I told him I wouldn't let that happen." I half-lied.

"But you just told me what's happening!"

I half rolled on top of her. "It hasn't been decided on, but that's only if you'll be staying mortal." I whispered into her ear.

"What are you talking about?"

I kissed her neck. "I am saying that I can change you. That you won't have to leave and you can stay with me." 

She began hyperventilating. "I don't know if I want that."

"Is that a challenge?" I joked seductively. I tilted my head up and looked her in the eyes and then she closed them. I kissed her neck feeling her pulse beating at least 160 beats per minute. My fangs came out; sharp and sleek. _I won't hurt you, little bird, little dear. _

"Please." Her voice barely audible for a human. 

"You're underestimating my self control." I mumbled. Her grip tightened around my neck. I closed my eyes and withdrew from her. _She's not ready. _I looked up at her dazed angel face and kissed her fiercely before slipping out the door. I found Tomoe still at my headquarters with a drunken Matsumoto. 

"Hey taichou!" Matsumoto shouted.

"Matsumoto told me something very interesting…"Tomoe whispered with a hint of seriousness and anger. 

"Hey taichou, I didn't know that sex was even allowed on a vampires' schedule." 

"Hitsugaya-taichou…" Tomoe whispered. I turned around and shut the door, but even so I couldn't drain out Matsumoto's hysterical fits of laughter that echoed through the halls. I ran through Seireitei, leaving my other half and brought forth the demon within to feed. 


	8. Painful Revenge

Chapter 8

I didn't know what was worse that Shiki Ryuu was going to take my place or that I was watching two very important people walk away from me. Shiki-kun wasn't in class on Monday.

Vampires don't get sick and it took a lot to even injure them. _Is he avoiding me? _I couldn't think of any reason why he wasn't there, human myth often ascribe to vampires the title 'immortal' but I well knew they could be killed.

By the end of the day I tried to find someone that I knew was close to Shiki-kun.

"Koichi!" I called as he was proceeding to his car. He turned and stopped for an instant but ignored me and was now hastily reaching for the door handle. I wasn't as strong as I vampire, but I could easily outmuscle a pure-blood human.

I closed the door with one flat palm, the human jumped, moving his fingers just in time to avoid having them slammed in the door.

"What do you want?" he finally asked.

"I want to know where Shiki-kun is."

"Can't you just read my mind or something?" He shouldered me aside, and the mixture of his words and movement forced me off balance.

_He thinks I am a vampire? Oh, that was rich._

Nearly laughing, I caught the door before he had a change to get in the car.

"Koichi, you have no idea what you're talking about-"

"Leave me _alone."_

"I am not a vampire." My mind was working quickly.

"Then what are you?" Koichi pressed. "You sure as hell aren't human."

"I am a shinigami."

Koichi snorted. "And pigs fly." He had just begun to get into the seat when I added, "And I am assuming Shiki-kun told you about us."

Finally the human paused, and I sensed him sizing me up. _Technically anyone was forbidden to know about shinigamis unless they had extremely high spirit pressure. _

Koichi glanced around the parking lot, where other students were gathering in the post school flurry of activities.

"Get in the car." He finally said. "And I'll tell you what you want to know."

He pulled out of the parking lot before I could think of how to begin.

My silence made him uneasy. "Look just because I am listening doesn't mean that I believe you." He nodded an approval of understanding.

"Last night there was this bash, at first I left early when a fight broke out. But I returned because I found out that my sister was there as well. And when I went back the house was collapsing in flames. She's okay now because Ryuu had rescued her, even thought he was wasted."

I hesitated. _But vampires can't get drunk can they? _"Anyway I am assuming he's still groggy from last night and is at home resting. I still need to thank him for saving my sister so if you see him tell him I said thanks."

"Wait a minute, how do you know about _everything_?"

"High spirit pressured human remember, I can see things others can't."

"Right…Well, I've got to go. I'll see you around."

I skipped school the next day, posing as my sister calling early to excuse myself. After I silently crept to the 3rd division, well to Shiki-kun's room. Breaking entry at ten o'clock in the morning was not generally a good idea, but somehow I knew I wouldn't be welcomed if I knocked on his door.

Taking a deep breath to regain my focus, I slipped through an open window at the bottom of his doom. Instantly I felt colour blind. Everything was black and white. The carpet of his work area was plush black. The walls were white but for abstract designs that had been painted onto them in black. The furniture was a combination of black and white.

My head nearly spun at the abrupt change of scenery. I barely avoided knocking a vase of white flowers off a black table. Their green stems the only bit of colour in the room. The rest of the place was empty, so I crept onto the second floor. Climbing the flight of stairs, I sensed him close by. If he was sleeping, I would still have a chance to surprise him. More likely he had already sensed me the same way I sensed him.

I opened the door I knew Shiki-kun was in, but what I found threw me entirely off balance. The walls were covered with pictures, painted in careful black ink.

Still dazed, I spun when I sensed someone behind me. _Shiki-kun? _He was dressed in an all black night gown not like the regular white ones. He looked exactly the same except something was very _wrong. _

His expression was dark and angry, as opposed to the open, smiling one I had grown so fond of. But the wrongness didn't reach my brain until he pushed my back into the wall, forcing the breath from my lungs. His reitsu washed over me like ice water – too strong, too dark. Shiki-kun didn't feed on humans, but the one before me did.

He grabbed both my wrists with one of his hands and held them against the wall; he stood to my side; out of kicking range. I was concentrating, preparing to strike him with my reitsu, but out of nowhere his free hand hit me.

"Don't try it, Momo."

He was a threat, and that was all that mattered. Yet he wasn't doing anything threatening at the moment. Instead, he was regarding me with curiosity.

"What are you doing here, I don't think we're-" he broke off and hit me again, the blow making my head spin. "I said not to try it."

_So he can feel my building power, damn it. I'll just simply have to wait for a chance when he's distracted, in other words wait for him to bite me. _

He pulled a kunai knife from his pocket; he pressed it against my left side, hard enough for me to feel the sharpness of the blade against my skin.

"If that's suppose to be a threat, it won't work," I informed him.

"And if I meant to kill you?" he inquired.

"You would have already done it." I answered wincing in pain.

My muscle twitched as the knife cut through it and then he began to drag it up my side. I screamed in pain.

"Get out of my room, Momo." He disappeared before I could react.

I leaned against the wall and stretched out my reitsu. While I had been occupied with Ryuu, other shinigamis were already forming outside of the 3rd division. My stomach churned with the unpleasant nausea that comes with blood loss. I was beginning to lose my vision, but I tried to stand straight only to have a wave of pain push me forward. I never came in contact with the floor; instead I fell into Hitsugaya's arms.

"Hinamori!" he yelled my name. I only smiled at him as I reached to brush his cheek with my hand. "Hitsugaya-kun…" I whispered his name. _Good-bye. _


	9. Her Fate

Chapter 9

Hinamori showed so signs of movement as she lay limply in my arms. I quickly brought her outside where my companions waited. Shiki, Ryuu was already in the arms of his captain with a zanpakuto at his neck. I glared at him.

"What did you do to her?!" I yelled.

"It's only natural for me to settle things with her." He smiled not at all regretting anything that just happened. I growled at him, my reitsu rising.

"Instead of dealing with me, don't you think you should bring her to the medical centre?"

Kai began to dig his zanpakuto into his lieutenant's neck, his anger staring to form.

"There isn't enough time. Hitsugaya-taichou, you must do what you can with her." Commander-General's voice came from between amongst the group of shinigami surrounding the area.

"I don't know if I can…"I whispered.

"Then she shall face her fate." I winced at his sudden statement.

"Meanwhile Shiki, Ryuu, you shall be faced with your own consequences hence having attacked an innocent pure-blooded human, and failed the rights to follow the law."

Ryuu didn't show any signs of regret or fear; he just had a stupid smile along his face. I walked pass him and the crowd as I passed, I heard him murmured. **Her fate is in your hands**. I concentrated my reitsu and he winced as ice was visible on the lower part of his right arm. I left the rest to the others as I went back to my dorm.

As I entered my room, I laid Hinamori gently on my futon, and took a step back to examine her frail figure. Her scent was in the air, along with her will to stay alive for the remaining time she had left. Her breathing was becoming shallower while she tried to sustain the strength to keep breathing. Her body shaking from the impact of the kunai that now left a long deep dash along her delicate skin; I closed my eyes and took in a ragged breath of oxygen. I swiftly lifted her up to face me in one movement and wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her still.

"I am sorry." I whispered. My desires were already weak, and then I let the predator take control.

Hinamori screamed in pain as my fangs pierced her skin, with the pain coming from her still fresh wound she couldn't fight back, so she collapsed beneath the pressure of my reitsu. I unsheathed my sword and sliced my own skin just below my throat.

She turned her head away wincing, but I forced her to look at me- and at the new line of blood that ran along my neck. I had barely taken any of her blood, but even so she could feel the thirst that always fell on a vampire's prey, she didn't look away, she couldn't.

"No." she moaned.

I ran my fingers along the blood on my neck, and painted her lips with it, forcing her to taste the blood of the damned, and she could not resist. But she never licked her lips, resisting my blood.

Leaning forward I brushed my lips gently against her jaw line continuing to run my head down her neck as her breath came in short gasps. Kissing her collar, I brought my head up to see her eyes closed tightly; she was biting her lip still coated with fresh blood. What strong willed woman, she's still trying to resist. I drew my hand to the back of her head and then my lips smacked into hers. I felt her hands forcing me off her against my chest, but she wasn't strong enough, not yet.

She ignored the pain running through her body as she continued to pound me on the chest.

**Enough **I threw the message at her from my mind, but I was only answered with her muffled cries. My hands flew to her shoulders as I forced my body weight on her. She was running out of breath from the kiss that lasted much too long then I expected. Now pinned helplessly against my futon I broke the kiss only for her to gasp for air while I lowering my neck to her mouth, but I drew away once I knew she could no longer resist me.

With her mouth smeared with blood I went back to kissing her running my tongue along her lips, then slipping it through her to make sure she was definitely getting what she thirsted for. Blackness finally swallowed her, and she fell into the oblivion of unconsciousness.

At sunset, I still sat by Hinamori's side, waiting anxiously for her to stir.

Had I been too late? I cursed myself for wasting time arguing with Ryuu, but I doubted that Hinamori would have forgiven me if I had hurt him. I felt her blood humming through my system along with her reitsu. If I had fought Ryuu, I would probably have killed him out of reflex and anger. Tomoe and Matsumoto burst through my doors as they sensed Hinamori's flickering spirit power during her transformation.

They had a right to be there; they were the closest companions to Hinamori and me. My headquarters had been the location that I trusted enough to know she would be safe; in the presence of me. A less intrusive presence, Kurosaki waited calmly leaning against my door. I didn't know why he was there- maybe it was to hold Hinamori back if she woke up hating me.

I brushed the long strand of hair from my face, the only movement anyone had made in the last twenty minutes, and glanced at the wall. The sun should have set by now. She should have awakened.

Finally, she moaned lightly, and I felt the guilt that hit me again as I heard the pain in her tone. I knew that a newborn vampire, before she had ever hunted, was wracked by bloodlust so strong it could drive anything completely from the mind. Without killing, it was almost impossible to state that hunger.

Hinamori moaned again and sat up slowly, blinking to clear her vision; now ten times sharper. Everyone in the room knew her mind was foggy. Her memory would only return till after she fed. Matsumoto helped me lift her to her feet, she could barely stand. "I need to bring her someplace she can feed safely." I told Tomoe. Once Hinamori feeds she would probably hate me. Worse, she could easily kill herself.

Tomoe stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't let her kill."

Kurosaki laughed, the only thing he did in the last half in hour.

'That's impossible, she's a new fledgling, and her change wasn't as nearly as easy as yours was- if she doesn't kill, she won't be able to sate the bloodlust that we all know so well."

"She's a vice-captain with a heart of gold, experienced life as a normal human girl, she won't take a life." Tomoe threw Matsumoto a thankful glance.

Kurosaki looked at Hinamori doubtfully as I gently smoothed her hair, trying to comfort her as her superiors argued.

"I'll take her." Tomoe insisted, her voice strong.

"There are people I know from home who'd be willing." I mirrored Kurosaki's expression, doubtful.

"Not willing to die."

Unlike Tomoe, she had gone through the change easily, only Kai had gone through the pain that Hinamori was going through.

Kurosaki and Tomoe continued to argue along with Matsumoto on Tomoe's side, but I had already made a decision. Human blood was too weak to tame the bloodlust without taking a life. Pure blood was the best, since its strong enough to quench the thirst without killing the donor, but I was already dead for that matter, and a pure blood.

There was only one thing I could think of, it was really the only choice I had left. Tilting my head back, I drew Hinamori to my own throat.

**Authors Note: There's still one more last chapter. And I might write a sequel to this story. :) The last chapter will most likely be uploaded tomorrow. (My last day of Spring Break and I might update 'Only You.' if I have time.) R&R!  
**


	10. Everything in Its Right Place

Chapter 10

_Goodness, it hurt._ Fire and glass were being forced through my veins and I couldn't do anything about it.

_Drink,_ I told myself, and suddenly I was aware of the sweet scent that filled my senses.

My instincts took over as Hitsugaya pulled me to his own throat. Gracefully as any predator, I wrapped a hand over the back of his neck and sealed my lips over the pulse point. I felt the weight of my own fangs in my mouth, the moment of resistance as they pierced the skin, and then only the rich, warm blood that flowed over my tongue.

Then there was only the sweet, rich taste, and a million images that accompanied it. I was not prepared for the flood of memories, emotion, or pain but I understood that Hitsugaya could not have blocked me from his mind even if he tried. Not while I was this close, not while his blood flowed past my lips.

The memories were a mixture of pleasant and pain as I flickered among them I lost track of myself.

"_Hitsugaya-taichou!" others were screaming as they were approaching him. He was screaming and thrashing in pain as the 'venom' was taking over his system. Then he blacked out…_

_Power like lightning struck her, knocking her away from her predator. Pain worse than searing the torture of the bloodlust of a vampire, as her predator sunk a knife into her leg, paralyzing the nerves. She could no longer move, and then he bit her. Marking her as his first prey… "I am sorry Matsumoto…I just couldn't make her experience the life of the damned…"_

_He remembered the day the Fujitakes had gotten married shortly after the war between shinigami and arrancar. All infected shinigami were there attending the wedding, with Hinamori as the bride's maid wearing an awfully familiar dress that she recognized from the masquerade ball a few weeks back. Everyone danced the night away around the newly wedded couple. Then everyone gathered for a group photo…_

_"Hinamori…" Hitsugaya looked over her bloody body after she had been stabbed by Aizen. Somehow everything was a major blur as if a tape had been fast forward, and then Hitsugaya fell to the ground. _

_Finally he understood the strength he had seen in her. And only then, when she told him to leave her alone, did he realize he loved her. Still fighting the desires after the death of Aizen, he had fallen back into the neutral mask he wore when he was not in friendly territory. He wanted to take her right then and there but instead he had been cold, because otherwise he would not have been able to keep himself from changing her. _

_Junrinan, District 1 of Rukongai._

_"Good morning, Shiro-chan!" as she leaned over him. _

_"Hurry up and eat breakfast! It's my first day, and I am going to be late!"_

_"Quit calling me Shiro-chan. And don't pat my head!"_

_"When you can enrol in the same place as me, then I'll call you by your name."_

_"Screw that. As if I'd wannna go to Death god school."_

_"Even after I enter the dorms, whenever I get a break, I'll come play with you again, alright?!" _

_"Don't come back, Bedwetter- Momo!"_

_A flood of other mixed memories flashed before her eyes._

When the spell finally broke and I pushed him away, the hunger and the pain were gone. Though I tried to ignore the sensation, it was like turning me back to a conversation. The direct thoughts and memories disappeared, but there remained a lingering sense of Hitsugaya's mind.

"Shiro-chan?" When I spoke his name, it seemed to linger in the air and slowly evaporate in the silence. He shook his head as if to clear his mind. "I am fine," he answered finally forcibly turning his mind from the memories. His gaze met mine and he said simply "What you do now is your choice."

I knew he was not going to mention it aloud, but I could easily feel his fear. He was worried that I was going to kill myself. _But if I didn't what could I do_?

My life and everything I had known were gone. My life as a true shinigami had died the moment I became a vampire, but I didn't want to die. I made such good "human" friends and was I really ready to throw that all away? The only people that I felt connected to in my life after I was betrayed by Aizen. I was lied to by my childhood friend; the one person I truly deeply love. My _real_ friends and family were the ones who taught me that vampire blood did not turn a mortal into a monster.

Hitsugaya took a deep breath to take me out of my trance. After a hesitation that told me he was bracing himself for my answer, he said, "Hinamori, I don't know what your decision is, but I love you. If you want to, you're welcome to stay with the rest of us."

I saw Kurosaki-kun's surprise when he heard the word 'us,' but the vampire didn't argue. The idea made me pause, however. _If the 'us' had meant Hitsugaya-kun, and my family, I would have immediately said yes. But I knew there was still someone I could no longer trust. Shiki Ryuu._

Before I could voice my refusal, Kurosaki-kun spoke.

"Momo…" He paused and looked to Hitsugaya for a moment before he continued, as if for approval. "I'm not expecting for your instant forgiveness. I am not even asking for it." He started to take a step towards me but stopped. "But if nothing else, trust me when I say I won't let you or anyone be hurt if I can stop it." Again he glanced at Hitsugaya, but this time only for a moment, as if he already knew how Hitsugaya would react. "We don't own you. Whatever you choose today…I'm no threat to you. But don't blame the past on Hitsugaya for what I've done, and don't leave just because I am here."

I opened my mouth to disagree but closed it as Kurosaki-kun's words sank in. _He thinks I am running away from the past because of what happened with Aizen. Or in other words he's blaming himself for killing someone I wanted in my life long ago. _

My instinct was to argue with anything he said, but right now he made sense. I couldn't stay, but it wasn't because of Kurosaki-kun. I realized that my hatred for him faded long ago. Yes, he had hurt me mentally, but that was because I was in desperate measures at that time. Honestly the most brutal thing Kurosaki-kun had done to me had been to open my eyes and force me to see reality- the shades of gray that existed in the world, beyond the world of stark black and white, of evil and good. That my sister had taught me long ago.

I took a deep breath, but my mind was made up. "I can't stay," I finally said, and I saw- and felt- Hitsugaya flinch. "You know I can't survive-and hunt- the same way you do. Even if I could, I don't like to be dependent. Give me some time to find my own way to live." I lifted my gaze and met Hitsugaya's. His fear, which was still ringing clear in my mind, prompted me to add, "I don't hate you Kurosaki-kun, or Hitsugaya-taichou. I am only angry at myself for not understanding…the past."

I extended a hand towards Hitsugaya, who took it with no hesitation, stepping forward; I hugged him. "I'll miss you, Shiro-chan, but I can't stay here. For now at least."

"We have forever. I'll see you again soon," he answered with certainty. "But before you go-"

He titled my face up and kissed me. Hitsugaya was the one who broke the kiss though he kept his arms around me and did not pull back. "I am sorry."

"This is a moment you never need to apologize for."

He smiled, something that anyone was rarely exposed to, the true Hitsugaya, whom I had come to love and trust.

"There are a million other moments, both past and future that I should apologize to you for." He said lightly. "I might as well start earning credit."

I smiled. "I love you Hitsugaya-kun." He kissed me again with all his heart. If I could, I would have felt the tears come from my eyes because everything at this very moment vanished and it was just me and him.

The others had already left the room to give us some time for good-byes. A million moments, both past and future. Thousands of years of hatred, between good and evil could hardly be undone. Even in the eternity that I potential had ahead of me, I didn't think I was up to a job to be the only one as a non-life taking individual. But my sister would teach me how to survive without killing. There were pockets full of peace in the world, and I would find them before I'd return. As Hitsugaya pointed out, I had forever to return to him.

**Authors Note: **The memories are told in 3rd person and some of them are from previous chapters, untold ones, or ones from the anime/manga.

**This is it for 'Secret Affections'. ****I want to give a big thanks to ****shirochanxmomo1220**** and ****CallMeNicole**** for reviewing 'all' my chapters for this story. And thank you ****cherryblossom hime**** for your most recent review which motivated me to finish this story! As well as ****shirochanxmomo1220****. Anyways thanks to those who've been reading, reviewing, favoriting, and alerting my stories! Love you guys! I MIGHT BE WRITING A SEQUEL WHICH MIGHT BE UP IN SUMMER 2008! BUT THAT ALL DEPENDS, AND I HOPE YOU ALL KEEP UP WITH MY 'FUTURE' UPDATES! **


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